Thursday, February 26, 2009

REMories: I hate Zombies

REMories: Memories of dreams past...or are they dreams of memories past?

Note: I do in fact hate Zombies. I'm not a person who generally worries about such things though. I don't watch Zombie movies really, I'm not really much into horror. I don't know where these dreams come from but, I know the Zombie dreams all started with this one. I had this dream in 2005. I was deployed to Iraq at the time for "OIF 3" (Operation Iraqi Freedom). When I woke up, I turned to my roommate and simply said seemingly out of the blue to him, "Man, I fucking hate Zombies."

If there is one thing I can't's Zombies. And the only thing in my book worse than a Zombie was a whole lot of Zombies. The once bustling streets of this perky suburban neighborhood were eerily silent now but, through the dead of the night you could hear them...moaning and shuffling along, awkwardly knocking over anything in their way, trying to sniff out a meal of fresh, juicy brains. They had no qualms about eating the rest of you of course but, they would have nothing to do with decayed and rotting flesh. But, God help us that meant they wouldn't eat each other. No easy breaks for the living.

Strewn about the streets were remnants of the military's failed attempts to quell the Zombie revolution. Their stand didn't last very long. Many of the Zombies in this area wore tattered National Gaurd uniforms, undead and grim testaments of the Zombie horrors. I had been hoping to find survivors but, this town was as dead as the last one and there was little left to scavenge that was worth risking my life for.

In the cold black of the night, a dank smell permeated the air. I was a swift and silent mover but, their senses were highly trained and attuned to even the tiniest sound of human movement. They knew fresh fish was on the menu but, I wasn't keen on being reeled in. I could outrun a few zombies no problem but, I soon realized there were more than a few zombies around here. The stench was nearly overpowering, they were everywhere, practically surrounding me and I couldn't even see a single one.

Hiding would do me little good. In a situation like this, you never want to work yourself into a corner. I made a run for it, got off the dangerous streets, and made a nimble hop over a backyard fence. I chuckled for half a moment at the irony of an old, worn sign hanging from the chain-links that proclaimed 'Beware of Dog'.

There was a warehouse just up the road running into the heart of the town. I beat a brisk jog to it, in hopes that I might find something useful inside. I was pretty sure Scavengers had already beaten me here but, when life gives you lemons...well, you're better off looking for a shotgun.

It seemed like I had ran myself into a corner. Too many damn zombies. They had surrounded me. There was only one exit, and it was an entrance into the huge abandoned warehouse. Not much better than my current situation but, it could buy me some time at least. I ran in, closing and locking the doors behind me. They would be inside in no time.

The warehouse was amaze of shelves and industrial goods, haphazardly littered about the place as if it had been ransacked. I ran down the aisles. I was looking for an axe. I picked up a 2 by 4, it wouldn't help much but, it was something. Then I got lucky and found a shotgun and a box of shells. Only 10, though. There were a lot more than 10 zombies out there and that 2 by 4 probably woulnd't put much of a dent in them.

A man in a white lab coat with a girl clutched behind him, stepped out it front of me suddenly from around one of the aisles. I stepped back and pointed the shotgun straight at his head.

He screamed immediately, “Oh, God! Don't shoot me, I'm not a zombie!”

“We need to get the hell out of here.”, I said.
“Stay behind me.”

Then, I heard the groaning and moaning again. They were inside the warehouse. Shit. I felt like a lab mouse in a maze. Except, my cheese was a way out, and the dead-ends were zombies.

“Come on! Hurry Up!” I yelled to the two as I began running for the back of the warehouse. There had to be a door back here somewhere. We ran down the aisles until we got close to the back of the warehouse. There was the door. And obviously the Zombies had already found it because they were now pouring through. Shit. I took a quick look behind me. Yep, they were closing in on us now.

I took aim with my shotgun and blew the heads off the ones closest to us, reloading as I went. 3 Zombies dead now. Well, dead-er at any rate. There was a small storage room to my right.

“You two, get in there, don't move, don't make a sound.”

They slipped away while I kept the Zombie's attention. I blew a few more away. And another few. Down to my last shell, then that was it. I threw the shotgun down and grabbed my 2 by 4. I began smacking them upside their heads with it. It was doing damage but, they were getting closing in on me, fast. Finally, they were all around me, grabbing me, pulling me. One of them bit me on the shoulder. I swung around and bashed his head in. I stumbled then picked myself up, and charged through a small group of them.

I was bitten but, I was still me. I jumped on top of a stack of boxes and managed to climb my way up to the ceiling rafters. There was a window I could probably jump through at the other end. And...shit...there was another zombie. A nimble one I guess. Well, we'll just see.

Did I mention...I hate Zombies?

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